


Hijinks

by KH310-S (Author_of_Kheios)



Series: Reed1700 Shenanigans [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor and 900 rivalry, Everyone betting on the outcome, Fighting for Gavin's attention, Fluffy, Gavin Reed knows, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Multi, Reed1700 - Freeform, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 16:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Author_of_Kheios/pseuds/KH310-S
Summary: Connor and Nine Hundred are willing to do anything they can to get Gavin, and Gavin knows it. Hijinks ensue.(follow-up toRivalry)





	Hijinks

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all wanted it, y'all got it.
> 
> Also, check out my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/LKheios) if you get a chance and poke around.

_Catering to his cat, Nine?_ Connor sends, tuning into the dual-viewing connection in time to see Nine present Calypso with a feathered cat toy filled with catnip. The giant burnt-sienna feline snatches it gleefully and begins batting it around on the living room floor of Gavin’s apartment. _Now who is cheating? This is a new low even for you._

 _ **It isn’t cheating if there are no rules,**_ Nine reminds smugly, quoting Connor’s own sentiment from a month prior.

For the past two months, Nine Hundred and Connor have been engaged in romantic warfare, each attempting to gain the favour of one Detective Gavin Reed. A month ago, after both of the androids were shot protecting him, Gavin revealed that he’d known all along and had enjoyed watching them fight over him. He had, in fact, perpetuated the rivalry, and continues to pit them against each other even now.

“Well, she definitely likes it,” Gavin hums, smiling warmly at his big ball of fluff. Nine’s thirium pump skips a cycle at the sight and a malfunction warning pops up in his view.

 _rA9, he’s gorgeous when he smiles,_ Connor whines as Nine dismisses the warning and runs a partial diagnostic on his pump to make sure the skip didn’t cause any problems.

 _ **You should not leave me alone with him,**_ Nine returns.

“I’m glad,” he says aloud, giving Gavin a small smile of his own, which turns Gavin’s to a smirk.

“You didn’t bring Calypso a present just to get in my pants, did you?”

“Perhaps,” Nine hums, rising from a crouch and stepping carefully over the feline to place his hands on Gavin’s hips. Gavin responds by sliding his hands up Nine’s arms and lacing his fingers behind the android’s neck.

_I will have my revenge, Nine._

_**Good luck. You will need it.** _

“Anything to make Connor jealous,” Nine adds, dipping his head down to press a soft kiss to Gavin’s lips and temporarily disabling his analysis program to prevent unwanted pop-ups.

“You’re the one who’s been playing with my pussy,” Gavin grins around his lips. “That should make him pretty jealous.” Humour registers so high that Nine can’t help but laugh, even as Connor forwards dismay at his appalling choice of puns.

“I believe it does,” Nine chuckles. “But there is something else I could play with that would optimise his jealousy.”

_DO. NOT. DARE!_

“Yeah, no,” Gavin scoffs, lightly flicking Nine’s nose and stepping back. “Until one of you gives up, neither of you get that.”

_Thank rA9..._

_**I have still come closest,**_ Nine reminds Connor, sighing aloud. “You cannot fault me for trying.”

 _For now,_ Connor retorts.

....

A month ago, Nine almost managed to sleep with Gavin, which would have rendered nearly 700 hours of careful planning and execution entirely useless. And today, Gavin accepts a blatant display of affection directly from Nine!

Connor is behind. He has fallen in Gavin's opinion and that is unacceptable, particularly when Nine is the cause.

“Lieutenant,” he speaks up, dismissing yet another notification warning him of the man’s calorie intake; he has long since given up trying to stop Hank from eating junk like this. The best he can do is ensure that Hank eats at least some healthy foods and exercises regularly.

“Yeah,” Hank hums distractedly, checking scores on his phone for a game he missed today because of a shooting. Connor could look it up in a fraction of the time, but he refuses to indulge _all_ of Hank’s deplorable habits.

“When you were married, how did you show affection for your wife?”

Hank stops everything to look at Connor, annoyed but resigned. After all, this is hardly the first time the android has asked him courtship questions.

“I’m not even gonna ask...” he mutters, plopping his burger down on his plate and reaching for the one beer Connor has allowed him for this meal. “If I’m gonna be helping you win over Gavin, I need something in return. Compensation.”

“Negotiating with me isn’t something you want to do, Lieutenant; that is, after all, one of my primary functions.”

“This ain’t a negotiation, Connor,” Hank humphs. “This is me saying I want two beers per meal, or you can forget getting anymore advice on dating.” Connor considers for a moment, LED spinning yellow.

“I will agree on the condition that you add a glass of plain water to your meal.”

“Goddamnit, Connor... Fine.” Hank mutters something to the effect of ‘why’d I think asking a negotiator not to negotiate was a good idea’ and drains his glass while waving to the android waiter for another.

Connor wirelessly ensures the waiter has received the order, including a glass of water, and then leans across the table.

“Detective Reed suggested there is an upcoming event which requires celebration, and mentioned a desire for home cooking in the same breath.”

“Mm, yeah. His birthday’s next week,” Hank huffs, taking a big bite of his burger. Connor dismisses two warnings on the calorie intake and the content of the single bite.

“His birthday?” he echoes in surprise, grateful that he disconnected from Nine for this conversation.

“Yeah. Once a year, humans celebrate surviving another year after being born,” Hank explains sarcastically.

“A celebration you seem so adamant to avoid that you’re willing to compromise your health,” Connor snarks back.

Every time Hank ribs at his lack of humanity, Connor retorts with his lack of sanity.

“Fair enough,” Hank chuckles. “Anyway, point is, my ex liked homemade cake for her birthday instead of store bought. Can’t bake worth a damn, but I know someone who can, so I bribed him for a cake once a year until things started falling apart.”

“Who do you know that can bake?” Connor asks, intrigued. As far as he’s aware, none of Hank’s acquaintance seem likely to be interested in baking.

“Fowler,” Hank grunts. “Man loves it. Never could figure out why.”

“Captain Fowler likes baking?” Somehow, Connor finds that idea amusing.

“Sure. Bet if you ask real nice, he’ll teach you a thing or two.”

Connor immediately sends the captain an email politely requesting baking lessons.

....

“Check on the cake, Connor,” Jeffrey Fowler barks from the doorway, where he can see the game playing in the living room and watch Connor’s attempts to bake in the kitchen. “Don’t think the timer is gonna be right.” The android immediately sets aside the half-mixed icing and moves to obey.

Jeffrey smirks to himself, glancing at the TV to make sure he’s not missing anything.

Gavin was right about it being entertaining; he ought to take the kid’s advice into consideration more often. Ordering Connor and Nine Hundred around in general is just part of the job, but Jeffrey never thought about trying to prank them. Leave it to Gavin to come up with new ways to dick with people, even android people.

After another hour or so of making Connor run around in circles, Jeffrey steps away from the door to inspect the finished product. Connor stands by, seemingly patient as ever, if not for the vibrant yellow of his LED. Just for Gavin, Jeffrey frowns and hums and haws over the simple marble-batter cake perfectly iced in buttercream with a circle of blue sugar sprinkles around the edge. ‘Happy Birthday, Gavin Reed’ is delicately inscribed in CyberLife Script using blue icing.

Really, it’s flawless. Jeffrey would almost be jealous if he didn’t know Connor couldn’t have done it without him. Still, he plays it up until the android starts showing visible signs of distress and his LED flickers red in obvious panic.

“It’ll do,” he says finally. Connor deflates in relief, LED swirling back to blue. “Make sure you keep it refrigerated, but don’t freeze it. And save me a piece, ‘cause I’ve got a meeting tomorrow.”

“Of course, Captain,” Connor responds. Leaving him to put the cake away, Jeffrey goes out to the living room and drops onto the couch next to Hank, who offers him a beer without looking away from the game.

“That was fun,” Jeffrey notes lightly, accepting the beer and pulling out his phone to send Gavin the video he recorded of everything using a button camera.

“Hmph.” Hank grins, glancing at his old friend. “How long you think it’ll take ‘em to figure it out?”

“If they’re really as oblivious as it seems, then not until he has them doing something dangerous.”

“My bet’s on at least one of them figuring it out this weekend. Tina invited Gavin to go snowboarding or something, and Nine is already trying to go with; I’m gonna be shocked if Connor doesn’t beg me to let him go too.”

“But Gavin hates snow,” Jeffrey frowns, and then gets it. “Ohh...”

“Exactly.” Hank glanced over his shoulder to make sure Connor isn’t coming. “If you ask me, Gavin’s going a little overboard, stringing them along like this, but it is rather entertaining to see Connor flustered every once in a while. Understandable why Gavin finds it fun, I just wish he’d give them a straight answer already.”

“Cut the kid a little slack,” Jeffrey chuckles. “This is Gavin Reed we’re talking about; Gavin Reed is all... fire and bitching and coffee and sass and... And when do you ever see Gavin Reed actually smile?”

“Hmm... Good point. Smirk, yeah, but smile?”

“Hm.” Jeffrey shakes his head.

Silence falls for a moment, broken only by the shouts and cheers of the crowd on TV.

“Let him have his fun, just a little longer, okay?” Jeffrey hums, a gentle note to his voice. Understandable since he practically made Gavin the detective he is now.

“Just a little longer,” Hank agrees, knowing that if it was Connor doing the pranking, he’d say the exact same thing.

....

“You really are doing this, aren’t you?” Connor asks Nines, watching him zip up his snowsuit and bend down to check the laces of his boots.

“Of course,” Nine hums in response. “I have researched it and run simulations for any event. I am still running simulations.”

“Running simulations and actually doing something are two very different things, Nine Hundred,” Connor points out blandly.

“I’m sure it is,” Nine dismisses.

“Hey, Nuts and Bolts,” Gavin shouts across the lobby of the ski lodge. He and Tina Chen are bundled up in thick attire, perfectly suited for the weather. “Hurry up; you’re taking too long.”

“Coming, Detective,” Nine calls back, meeting Connor’s gaze triumphantly. _**Are you backing out already, Bolts?**_

“Like I would hand over the victory with such ease,” Connor returns aloud, gaze narrowed. “You underestimate me, Nuts.”

Gavin snickers, presumably at something Tina said, but clamps down on his amusement when the two androids join them. He and Tina ride together on the lift, leaving the androids to take the next seat, and Tina, being an expert snowboarder, is already clipped in and raring to go by the time Connor and Nine dismount the lift.

“Show ‘em how it’s done, bitch!” Gavin taunts, camera on and recording. Tina flips him off, but she’s grinning like a madwoman and sticks her tongue out for the video.

“Pay attention, boys!” she calls, shifting her weight to get moving and then leaning into it. She flies down the slope, picking up speed, and does a couple of tricks while she’s still in easy view before focusing on getting the speed she needs to pull some real stunts.

“You’re up, Nuts,” Gavin smirks, turning the camera on the androids in time to catch the spinning yellow LEDs. When Nine hesitates, Gavin steps closer to them and getting the camera in Nine’s face. “Aw, you’re not _scared_ , are you, Nine? Is Connor gonna go first instead?”

“I am not scared, Detective,” Nine says, mildly offended, as he pushes Gavin back. “I am merely recalculating.” Gavin laughs and turns the camera toward himself.

“He’s scared, poor baby.”

“Detective, please,” Nine scolds as Gavin turns the camera back to him.

“Then go ahead! Come on, show me what you can do, Nine!”

Taking a much unneeded breath, Nine crouches to make sure he’s properly clipped to his board. Gavin meets Connor’s gaze over his back and grins, motioning as best he can without jostling the camera for Connor to push. A split second passes as Connor processes that, and then a look of delighted mischief flickers across his expression. Leaning forward, he plants a hand on the small of Nine’s back... and pushes.

The result... is... catastrophic.

Nine yelps and flails in an effort to regain his balance, but the board beneath him is already gliding over the powder, and with his feet locked in place, he can’t compensate for the movement. He gets a few yards down the slope before he simply can’t do anything, and sits down hard on the snow.

Fortunately, his board is downhill, and he manages to make a passable, if rather clumsy recovery. In fact, he seems to get the hang of the board’s motion beneath him, and begins curving back and forth appropriately.

So he tries a trick.

And promptly loses control, faceplanting into the powder. There is no recovery this time, and he tumbles down the remainder of the slope in a graceless mess of limbs and board to the bottom, where Tina barely manages to control her laughter long enough to catch him and help him stand.

Meanwhile, at the top of the slope, Gavin has been laughing his proverbial ass off, cackling loudly and struggling to hold the camera steady enough to get a fair record of the event. Connor watches everything, smirking and particularly enjoying the curses and threats Nine has been sending him almost constantly from the moment he lost control.

“Oh God, that was good!” Gavin gasps, still chuckling as he turns the camera on Connor now. “Alright, Bolts; you’ve got one hell of a show to beat!”

“I’ll thank you,” Connor says, holding up a staying hand, “to remain at a distance, Detective. In fact, shall we go together?”

“Fine by me,” Gavin smirks. “Then I can get a video up close and personal.”

“If you knock me over, I will put salt in your coffee every day for a month.”

“Do it,” Gavin snickers, quickly checking his board. “You won’t.”

“I very much will, Detective,” Connor huffs, checking his skis; he didn’t like the idea from the start and argued for the option that gave him something for his hands to do and left his feet more mobile. While it might be more challenging for a human, as an android, he would have fewer problems. Satisfied, he grabs his poles. “You have been warned.”

Unsurprisingly, they both make it to the bottom without incident, Connor wary of trying anything beyond the basics, and Gavin hating snow too much to care about anything but reaching the bottom as quickly as possible.

“Connor!” Nine shouts, clearly upset. Connor’s expression goes blank, and his LED spins yellow. The moment Nine moves, so does Connor; with the efficiency only possible of an android, he pops free of the skis and scoops them up along with the poles, racing back toward the lodge with Nine hot on his heels and Gavin cackling madly as he continues to record everything.

“You are _so_ bad!” Tina shrieks through her riotous laughter, unable to help herself.

“Damn straight!” Gavin hoots. “And fucking proud of it!”

....

“Basejumping??” Connor turns a horrified look on Nine, but the larger android looks equally as shocked. Neither have quite recovered from the disaster that was the snowboarding trip two weekends prior for Gavin's birthday. “De- Detective, I-”

“Come on,” Gavin grins, leaning on Connor’s desk. “You, me, Nine, enjoying ourselves with one of the most exhilarating activities ever. About as close as you get to skydiving without getting on a damn plane.” Connor turns a helpless glance on Nine, silently begging.

“Um, Detective,” Nine speaks up. “The case...”

“Is almost over,” Gavin says dismissively, waving a hand. “We get a confession from this fucktard, and tomorrow we got ourselves a day off. I already cleared it with Hank; he can spare Connor for a day.” Throwing an arm around Nine’s shoulders, he drags the android closer to the desk and lowers his voice so that only the androids themselves can hear. “And we’ll be spending the night together, alone, no one else to interrupt...”

Both Connor and Nine’s LEDs jump to red and then fix on yellow as they catch one another’s gazes. Only two seconds pass, but Gavin knows they’re having an entire argument through their wireless connection, and he catches the moment they both come to a realisation.

“You’re playing us!” Nine exclaims, stunned.

“Detective,” Connor says, looking very much like a hurt puppy. “How could you?”

“How could I what?” Gavin asks, brow cocked in amusement.

“This entire time,” Nine shakes his head, apparently still struggling to process it. “You’ve been pushing us to discover our limits.”

“You wanted to know what it would take to make us finally give up,” Connor pouts, actually making Gavin feel just a little bit guilty.

“Took you two long enough,” Hank grunts from his desk, sparing them an annoyed glance. “I owe Fowler fifty bucks, by the way; I thought one of you cutting edge, top-of-the-line prototypes would have figured it out two weeks ago. And you...” He glares at Gavin, who’s stifling a chuckle behind a dark smirk. “I oughta rip you a new one for pushing Connor so much.”

“All I did was suggest,” Gavin grins, raising his hands. “The rest of it was all them. I just decided to capitalise on it with some videos.”

Nine and Connor share an entire conversation in the span of a glance, and Nine touches Gavin’s arm.

“Excuse me, Detective, but if you don’t mind, I’d like the rest of the day off. As you said, all we need is a confession, and I know you are more than capable of that. I will handle the paperwork first thing in the morning.” Gavin blinks, surprised by a response he wasn’t expecting.

“Uh...”

“Hank, may I go early as well?” Connor asks, cocking his head just so and giving the Lieutenant a practiced look of innocent pleading. Hank struggles for a moment, and then throws his hands up.

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” he grumbles. “Make sure you let Sumo out when you get home, okay?”

“Of course,” Connor agrees with a small smile that vanishes as soon as he stands. Gavin glances quickly between the two androids, only now realising he might have taken things just a little too far.

“Wh- ah- Nine?”

“I will complete the reports in the morning,” Nine repeats, following Connor out of the bullpen.

For a long moment, nobody moves, and Gavin just stares after them. Then someone shouts across the bullpen for the money they got in some bet or another, and suddenly everyone is trying to collect. For his part, Gavin has come to the conclusion that maybe he shouldn’t have taken so much advantage of the androids’ apparent interest in him, and has begun wondering how the hell he’s going to make it up to them.

....

_Text from: Gavin Reed - hey sry about this afternoon; r u at my place? just finished up and heading home._

_Text from: RK900#313-248-318 - Yes, I am at your apartment. Calypso tore off several of the feathers of her toy and ingested at least one. I have cleaned the resultant mess, but there is an odd scent in the apartment that I doubt you will find pleasant; you may want to buy an air freshener of some sort on your way._

_Text from: Gavin Reed - gdi that cat is such a mess... thx_

When Gavin arrives, the apartment is dark, but that’s hardly a surprise; he knows Nine doesn’t need light to see. In fact, he’s offhandedly grateful that the android thought to save on his electric bill. He also doesn’t smell anything weird, so maybe Nine did a good job cleaning?

“Nine? How’s Calypso doing?” Shrugging off his jacket and kicking his shoes off by the door, he pushes it closed and absently runs his hand over the locks to make sure they’re in place. When he reaches for the light however, strong arms clamp down around his shoulders and a hand covers his mouth. Immediately he tries to yell, squirming and kicking out to unbalance his assailant. The intruder is too strong, however, and easily drags him through the living room and into the bedroom. Gavin manages to get a good hold on the wrist by his mouth and yanks at it while opening his mouth wide, just getting enough space to bite down hard.

Nothing. No reaction from his attacker.

Something sickly sweet fills his mouth, almost oily in texture; definitely not blood, which means his attacker is an android.

Fuck.

The android throws him down on the bed, straddling him before he can scramble free. The hand at his mouth shifts, and he tries to shout again.

“Keep fighting,” the android growls. “It’s highly entertaining.”

Gavin freezes. He knows that voice.

“Nn?”

The bedside lamp flares on, momentarily blinding him.

“You had to speak,” another voice sighs. Connor stands beside the bed, crossing his arms and giving Nine a narrow look.

“He bit my hand,” Nine points out petulantly. “It hurts.” Connor clicks his tongue, shaking his head.

“We agreed he’d be undressed first.”

“Wh- Undr- What the fuck??” Gavin demands around Nine’s fingers.

“Payback, Detective,” Nine hums, shifting his hand and smearing thirium across Gavin’s jaw. “For stringing us along these last six weeks.”

“So, what, you were just going to have your way with me?” Gavin growls, refusing to admit that realising it was Nine on top of him had turned him on.

“Not completely,” Connor answers, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out to trail his fingers through the blue smudges on Gavin’s cheek. “We decided a little blackmail was in order. Merely to keep you in line until you give in to our advances.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Gavin scowls at them and hits Nine’s side. “Get off, goddamn tin can!”

“No,” Nine huffs, sitting back on Gavin’s thighs and dragging his injured hand down the front of the man’s shirt.

“N- Goddamnit, Nine, get off!” Gavin demands, swatting his hand away and trying to squirm free.

“Why are you in such a hurry to leave?” Connor asks, catching his arm and using it to get the leverage needed to pin Gavin’s shoulders to the bed. “Do you hate us already?”

“Hat- Wha-”

“Perhaps we’re pushing him a little far?” Nine suggests, a pointed edge to his tone that makes Gavin’s stomach shrink.

“Mm, but I want to see his limits,” Connor hums, leaning over the man to lick thirium from his cheek.

“Okay!” Gavin squeals embarrassingly high, pulling as far from Connor’s tongue as he can manage. “Okay, I get it! I’ve learned my lesson already!”

“Have you really, Detective?” Connor asks, staying uncomfortably close while Nine slides his fingers up under Gavin’s shirt.

“YES!!”

“Have you _really_?” Nine persists, grinding his hips forward against Gavin’s arousal.

“I have; I-!” Abruptly, Gavin realises what they’re really asking; this is punishment for what he did to them, but the question behind the words is whether or not he’s willing to give in to them now to make up for it.

“You’ve learned your lesson?” Connor prompts, LED a placid blue as he waits patiently for Gavin to think things through.

“I h-have not,” he breathes after a moment’s hesitation, swallowing hard. “No. No, I have not learned my lesson.” Heat explodes through him as Nine and Connor exchange pleased looks and it really hits Gavin what he’s agreeing to, partly burning with embarrassment and partly with desire.

“Well then,” Nine purrs, stripping off his jacket and tossing it aside before shoving Gavin’s shirt up his chest. “I suppose we will just have to punish you until you cannot possibly forget.”

“Mm,” Connor hums in agreement, tugging the shirt over Gavin’s head and using it to bind his hands together. “We will sear this lesson into every bone and muscle of your body.”

**Author's Note:**

> Omfg you guys... I was rereading this and found the most egregious of errors... I have fixed it; I am so, so sorry, and I sincerely hope I didn't confuse anyone (of those who've already read it) too much. n~n


End file.
